Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Battle of the Bulge - Fat girl problems

I'm going to break it down
My never-ending list of:
 Fat Girl Problems!
I have known for a while that I needed to lose weight and get healthier. I had lots of moments when things happened to me and I knew it was time but it always got shrugged off until....
One of my patients asked me when I was due! My daughter was already a year old and she asked me when I was f*cking due! I was MORTIFIED! I was SO happy nobody else was around to hear her. I explained that I had a newborn at home which is a huge freaking lie, but I had to get out of the convo asap  because I was not pregnant. She just said OK. I don't think she even remembered asking me that question 5 minutes later, she was very confused and the nurse working before me was pregnant so maybe she thought I was her ya I am totally using that as an excuse - it was now the end of my shift so there is no way in hell that she could think I was the nurse from over 10 hours ago. This is when I officially started blogging to put it all out there, no holding back!
#1 Skinny Friends
I know I am not the only one who feels like this. Now really, if you are not fat, quit complaining about being fat! Around me at least!
#2 Muffin Top
Ya, I have one! So what? I am working on it but it does not disappear like magic. Mommy's had that belly/muffin top stretched out for 9+ months, I worked "hard" for that muffin top!
#3 Cropping Pics

I just laughed my ass off going through a ton of pics on facebook! I cropped E.V.E.R.Y. S.I.N.G.L.E. P.I.C.T.U.R.E! The pic above was cropped so you don't see my arm! Then I had to crop off some of him so it was centered and it didn't look like I cropped it. Then I had to make sure the date was cropped off in the bottom corner so that nobody knew it was cropped! Whoever invented cropping was a genius!
#4 Thinking you were fat
That's me - about 6 years ago thinking I was fat as hell! What was I thinking? I know I am not a twig there, and I know I never will be (I was born big boned haha) but damn I would kill to look like that again!
Or how about this pic:
I remember being on vacation (about 5 years ago) and I was so mad I didn't bring my shapewear! I am about to pull those jeans out and hang them on my wall for inspiration!
I know I wasn't a skinny minny but seriously, what the hell did I let happen to my body?
#5 I hate going clothes shopping
I can only go clothes shopping if I am in a great mood about it, which is next to never! Everything I try on has something wrong with it! I end up buying clothes way to big just to hide myself. 
I have not worn the following in over 5 years:
-Dress above the knee
-Tank top
It's ridiculous, and it is freaking HOT in the summer time wearing capris and shirts with sleeves!
#6 Public pools and the Beach
Lucky for me, my family usually goes to the Outer Banks for vacation.
If you have never been there, it is nice and quiet (depending on which part) and you usually have the beach to yourself. Or there will be another family 100 yards away. It's not like Ocean City Maryland or Myrtle Beach with everyone on top of each other.
We decided to get season passes to a local waterpark/amusement park this year. Ummm to say I am nervous is an understatement. I know my daughter will have a BLAST at the waterpark, but for me to be with her... in a bathing suit... sounds like a recipe for disaster!
I have lots more to share! Look for it later this week! 
Do you have any "Fat Girl Problems" you would like to share?


Meredith said...

Oh my gosh, I totally did that before- telling somebody I just had a baby when mine was over a year old!

Kay said...

I think you might be reading my mind! That post was totally something I would write because I feel so similar to those things! Having 4 skinny (110lbs) friends doesn't help my case either! Anyway, I nominated you for a Liebster Award. It's on my blog!

Kates @ You Betcha Baby said...

"Sharing" Fat Girl Problems? Can I just copy and paste yours? I can relate...to them ALL!

Nichole Gaertner said...

LOL. Amen sistah! My most "favorite" of favorite fat girl problems... is the infamous BACK FREAKING BOOB. Yup. I went there. Nothing like a healthy does of back boob to keep you on your game, right? ;)

Ashlee said...

These are freaking hilarious, and I can relate to all of them unfortunately!! Thank heavens for cropping, I tell everyone taking our picture (which is never)boobs up!! Nothing below!! This is great!! I have a friend who is a size 4 and bitches about being fat, I could punch her sometimes!! My big toe is a 4!!

Lindsey said...

I am sure that patient was on drugs! Hang in there, girl! You'll be a MILF in no time!

Candis said...

Any time the hubby takes pics of me (lately) I say, "do the kind I like" which he knows means just from my chest up (and sometimes I still crop them)! I can't wait to be able to have someone take a candid photo of me without me wanting to barf when I see it!

Desiree Macke said...

Newest follower!
I can relate to so many of these. Growing up I was always the "biggest" of my friends and I sucked. I wasn't HUGE, but those girls were twigs. Insecurity, party of one.
Then, when the little monkey came along no one told me I'd still look pregnant MONTHS after delivering. Blah.
Hope you'll swing by
for a return follow!

Kyra said...

The explanation of cropping pictures....I was cracking up!
Been there. Done that!!

Katie J said...

True story! Great post :)

Tasha Reeves said...

Thank you for keepin' it real! You got this girl! Just stick with it! I sometimes wish I could do that commerical where you talk to yourself...I don't know what product it's promoting, but I LOVE that commerical of the bigger self talking to the skinny self & thanking/looking forward to getting started.

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